Fears/and the Fearing

We read mysteries and stand by intensely at car crashes. Both are fears we confront just as though they would never be our own. Perhaps that is why we confront them in books (death, torture, etc) because we think they will never happen to us. I get up at night to let the dog out not thinking I will ever open
the door to find a stranger in the garden. And yet it has happened. I know. I read it in a hundred books and saw it in a hundred movies. But not to me.
Marsha Norman told playwrights that to write a good play with a solid basis they should write what they most fear. I have my private litany of things that can
make me shake in a way that cannot easily stop. I almost drowned as a child and
still remember coming up to the surface and going under again. Not breathing. I cannot bear something over my face. I cannot bear an elevator filled with so many people that the air is sucked up and out of the space.
Today I sit in my home delighted with the beauty of the day and fear is not my
companion. I don’t even want it in a story. I want the wind to blow away the
darkness of such thoughts.
People who jump out of planes for fun amaze me. I see fear as something not to prod me on, but rather to shut me down. I exorcize it in my writing by making it
part of the story and then writing it off. But tonight opening the door to the garden I expect the dog to lumber out and back again without disturbing my real dreams. Without exciting them into nightmares. Fearless.

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About christineemmert

Words have been part of my life. First the spoken word in my time as an actress and increasingly the written word in my shift to writer. I write across the genres, but mostly as a playwright and poet. My interest as my life extends is in the realm of tethering myth to the mundane reality where I live. In this vein I have expanded into stories and novels. Presently I look at how myths taken from past cultures can affect us today. Hence my novella of Lilith which is out on Kindle . I live in the Eastern Woodlands where I try to incorporate nature into my many writing projects. We are so in danger of losing that link to our very planet!
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