Buddhists say we are consumed with being either half full or half empty. There is still always that other half. I lived a life where I knew several people who became important and many more who did not. Those who were important were riddled with doubt as well as those who weren’t. Again those pesky Buddhists would say being human is a challenge to forget the Whole (and thus see it as a half full or empty situation) and concentrate on the content of what IS in the moment.
Sometimes the above paragraph makes perfect sense to me, but then Ego interferes and I sit wondering why I cannot get past the notion that there should be more people reading my work or wanting me to perform. Am I a failure? or is the work the success, not the response. I am glad to be able to make the work out of such raw tools as life and experiences.
I accept my humaness. I decry it too. But I cannot change it. Or myself. It is this lack of motion away or towards that puts me here smack in the center of living. Not always a good place to be, but neither is it a bad place.